Depression in children: how parents should act

Not only adults, but also children are prone to mental disorders. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (USA), 5% of adolescents aged 13 to 18 are diagnosed with severe depression. It is often associated with suicide attempts. Today, suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people.

The prevalence of childhood and adolescent depression is increasing every year. A number of factors contribute to this, which we will discuss below. In our article, you will also find information on how to recognize depression in a child and what to do.

Causes of depression

"Why did this happen to my child?!" is the first question that worried parents ask themselves. A psychotherapist can help them understand the causes of depression. The specialist will dive into the past and present, determine the child's current state, and help them understand what led to it.

The most common causes of childhood depression are

• family problems (divorce, death of one of the parents, moving, and other significant events with a negative connotation);
• bullying, intimidation – online, at home, at school, among friends, etc.
• violence – physical, emotional, sexual;
• heredity – depression or other mental health problems in close relatives.

It also happens that negative factors overlap. And if individually the child would have survived them, together they create a concentrated impact on the psyche.

Depression in toddlers

Not only a teenager can get depressed, but also a child of a much younger age. M. G. Kiseleva's scientific article "Depression in Infants and Young Children" provides convincing evidence that this mental disorder can occur in both a one-year-old baby and a preschooler.

The article also describes a fact confirmed by research: a child aged 1-5 is extremely dependent on the mental state of his or her mother. And this is what causes depression.

In 1990, an experiment was conducted: mothers were asked to keep a "stone face" (neutral facial expressions) while communicating with their children. Those children whose mothers had experienced depression showed much less dissatisfaction with the "stone face" than children in the control group. This means that during a mother's depression, the child gets used to her low involvement and passivity.

Not understanding what is happening, the child accurately reads the mother's emotional state. And thus, he or she is at risk of developing depression himself or herself.

Normal or depressed state

Your child may feel sad, depressed, or cry for some time. This is a natural and extremely necessary way for our psyche to release emotions.

You should not immediately run to a psychoanalyst if your child has had a fight with friends or has been in bed all day. Observe.

You need to worry when the symptoms of depression become more frequent. And the child is in a normal state of mind less and less often. The line between normal and abnormal is very thin.

The depressive triad

In psychotherapy, there is a symptom complex called the depressive triad - three main manifestations of depression:

1. Bad mood.
2. Deterioration in the quality and speed of thinking.
3. Lack of motor activity (lethargy, apathy).

These three symptoms are indicators of the child's condition. If you observe excesses in one or more of them, consult a specialist.

Specific symptoms of depression in children

Sometimes it is extremely difficult to recognize depression: it is well disguised as age-related behavioral characteristics. Hormonal changes in adolescence can cause irritability, aggression, and apathy.

Therefore, it is worth paying attention not to one or two symptoms that appeared in a child during the transition period, but to trace the totality and depth of manifestations:

1. Increased irritability.
2. Social isolation.
3. Painful perception of any changes.
4. Decrease or increase in appetite.
5. Insomnia or, conversely, a constant desire to sleep.
6. Outbursts of anger, emotionality.
7. Reduced concentration of attention.
8. Somatic manifestations: headaches, abdominal pain.
9. Reduced working capacity.
10. Passivity, loss of interest in usual activities.
11. Painful feelings of guilt.
12. Deterioration of thinking functions, poor academic performance.
13. Obsessive thoughts about death, talk of suicide.

Depression may not manifest itself at all. A child behaves as usual, but then abruptly starts using alcohol or drugs (usually these are symptoms of depression in a teenager). Parents look for the reasons, but often in the wrong place. Depression is one of the most common causes of bad habits.

Mimicry of depression

When depressed, it is difficult for a child to study, to do the usual things. He does not want to communicate with friends. Any action is difficult to perform. However, the danger of this condition is that it may not be depression at all, but an anxiety or some other disorder, ADHD, or other diseases.

It is worth checking your body, because what looks like depression can be

• thyroid dysfunction
• diabetes mellitus
• epilepsy
• chronic fatigue syndrome;
• avitaminosis;
• decreased hemoglobin production;
• a drop in immunity due to viral and bacterial infections.

Therefore, before being diagnosed with depression, it is important to undergo a comprehensive diagnosis to rule out health problems.

Depression and suicide

Depression in adolescents is a common phenomenon. 32% of teenage suicides occur against the background of depression. This disturbing fact should not scare you, but make you pay more attention to what your child says and does. Pay attention to the signs of depression in a teenager that indicate that he or she is thinking about suicide:

• Talking or joking about death;
• phrases such as "I don't want to live," "I don't see the point of life," "there is no way out."
• romanticizes death – reads or writes poetry about death and suicide, writes stories, draws pictures;
• behaves recklessly – climbs on roofs, crosses the road in the wrong place, is reckless in all available ways;
• Throws away or gives away money and personal belongings to friends (preparing for suicide);
• Googling ways to commit suicide, searching for medications, weapons, etc.

If you notice something like this, do not hesitate. You will not be able to cope on your own. Suicidal thoughts in the context of depression are a reason to seek psychiatric help immediately.

What to do if a child is depressed

Childhood depression can only be dealt with if parents take correct and timely action.

If you suspect that your child is depressed, try the following:

✓ talk to him or her. This can be difficult: teenagers are reluctant to communicate with adults even in a normal state, and during depression, the reluctance to share problems is exacerbated many times over;

✓ Express your support. Say that you will make every effort to cope with the problem. Assure them of your love and willingness to help. Be there for them.

Next steps:

• undergo a comprehensive diagnosis of the body;

• make an appointment with a psychotherapist and follow his/her instructions;
• In addition to treatment with a psychotherapist, it is worth taking a course of work with a psychologist to identify the cause of depression and prevent its recurrence;
• parents should attend a psychologist's consultation to learn how to properly support and respond to their child's depression.

What else can be done

Parents always feel that they are not doing enough for their children. Especially when it comes to treating a difficult mental disorder. Childhood depression - what else can you do for your child:

1. Organize favorite activities

During therapy, it is important to create the most comfortable home environment for the child. Due to his or her current difficult condition, it is worth giving up traveling, noisy holidays, and lifestyle changes.

On the contrary, remember what brought joy to the child in the past. For example, singing karaoke, playing board games, cooking together, caring for a pet. Return to these activities.

2. Create a space of trust

Children are more likely to make contact not during a so-called confidential conversation, but in the course of some joint activity. Do something with your child and talk to him/her unobtrusively. Do not ask questions with pressure, but simply give them the opportunity to express their emotions, plans, and fears. Make it a habit to do this during your joint activities.

3. Do not punish for revelations

It is difficult to hear the uncomfortable truth. But if you have reached a certain level of frank communication, therapy is working, and the child has decided to tell you about the not-so-pleasant moments in his or her life, do not betray his or her trust. Resist the urge to condemn, reprimand, or punish. By doing so, you will only close the small door of trust that has opened before you with a concrete wall.

4. Gradually involve the child in social communication

If a noisy company does not yet arouse his enthusiasm, start small. Communication with even one friend will help to gradually return the child to full social interaction with others.

5. Bring physical activity back into your child's life

Hiking, cycling, playing sports, rollerblading, or skateboarding – any physical activity will do. Physical activity will not only distract from sad thoughts, but also help relieve muscle tension.

6. Control your passion for gadgets

Being stuck on the phone in itself has a negative effect on children, and during a period of depression, it can be a factor that slows down recovery. Online games and social networks are best left for later – when the child feels better.

7. Watch your diet

It has been proven that an abundance of carbohydrate foods negatively affects mood. Feed your child's energy balance with healthy foods: healthy fats, high-quality proteins, fresh fruits, and vegetables. Don't forget about healthy sweets.

8. Give your child enough time to sleep

If he is sleeping, do not wake him up. If he cannot sleep, turn on calm music, give him a glass of warm milk, and sit next to him. A good night's sleep is the key to a quick recovery of both the child's physical and mental strength. In case of persistent insomnia, consult a doctor about taking mild sleeping pills.

9. Do good deeds

Nothing soothes inner pain like helping those who are much worse off. Do charity work, volunteer. Show your child an example of how people who are in difficult life circumstances are trying to pull through.

*****

Treatment of depression in a child is not only about taking antidepressants, tranquilizers, and neuroleptics. This is a huge complex work in a single team of psychotherapist + parents + child. And the work is long, requiring considerable time and effort.

Take this problem seriously and be patient. You will have to pay a lot of attention to the child, and you may need to change your approaches to parenting and improve the psychological atmosphere in the family. In general, you will have a lot of tasks ahead, but you will definitely cope with them. Good luck!